Floating on a Sea of Stars || KeL's Blog

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Really feeling very stressed in J2
especially today. Yes i am really not feeling veri well, but i am actually healthy enough to go school to take my SPA exam.

For dunno what reason, throughout this year, i don't feel like going to school everyday.
Not only that, have to put up a mask to act that i'm strong, act that i'm alright and everything.
actually deep down inside, i'm really lost.. everyone looks so unfamilar to me.. it's like.. so vast and empty.. no one is beside to help you

especially seeing nurul feeling so stressed and chris feeling so emo, i just want to break down, dont want to continue with j2 anymore.
s
tutorials are pilling up like shit, training like so many times a day, stress from work - need to give the image that i'm a good student ( they say SA is a good school) and so many thing..

and this year is really screwed..

i'm doing below expectation for all the subjects
i'm playing like shit for training
i'm performing below average for my work
i'm drifting away from God, dun feel like going to church and everything
.
.
.
.
in all.. life is like shit..

feel really really really pressured to do well...
especially always having to do better than my cousin who is one year older than me.
and after seeing some RJ girl crying because she got 7A's and 1fail ( for s paper), i really feel veri depressed..
to hell with them, not contented with 4As..

i feel that i really made the wrong choice to come to SAJC..
can i really do well in SA?

just bought 五月天 album today.. this song is really stuck to my mind..

歌曲：米老鼠 - my blog song

一身黑皮肤白手套红短裤
一双大大耳朵
随时在向人打招呼
他是我朋友陪我笑陪我哭
尤其是当我当我最无助
有他听著我倾诉
梦中城堡里面跳舞
醒了世界依然残酷
以为我爱著孤独
以为自己不会迷路
以为自己跟自己
再不用谁照顾
以为我爱著孤独
却又崩溃的无助
谁能让我拥抱著尽情的哭

让我唯一的朋友不是老鼠

谁是草莓族
你才是榴连族
一身伤人顽固
伤害我还要我不哭
摩天轮停住
咖啡杯不跳舞
孩子练习著
让悲伤麻木
快乐也开始麻木

really felt that this part of the song is about me -

以为我爱著孤独
以为自己不会迷路
以为自己跟自己
再不用谁照顾
以为我爱著孤独
却又崩溃的无助
谁能让我拥抱著尽情的哭

someone help me..

Kel is feeling down and depressed.. just like this black and white picture..
there is no colour in his life..